Ready for me to reveal more embarrassing truths?

I’m making appearance on Tablet again this week. Not being a shirker, I’ve revealed yet another embarrassing detail of my personal life: I am a reverse snob. (This is along with watching Afterschool Specialsbeing somewhat vain, making choices I can never really take back, and believing in ghosts...I know, I’m a bit of a head case.)

At the time a friend first accused me of being a reverse snob, I had no idea that such a label existed. It turns out that not only does it exist (there are definitions for it both on Dictionary.com and in the Urban Dictionary) but I indeed was one. At first I was proud of being  a reverse snob…until I did some soul-searching.

The good news is that I’m now in recovery.

Has anyone ever accused you of something that initially you were proud of, but later reconsidered? Please share your story in the comments below! And don’t forget to check out my essay on Tablet.

Two places to find me in time for Tu B’Shevat!

Hey, everyone.

wild apple photo from wikipedia

Don’t forget to eat fruits from trees on Wednesday night/Thursday in honor of Tu B’Shevat!

It’s my not-so-little secret that I’m kinda obsessed with Tu B’Shevat, the minor Jewish holiday known as the “Rosh Hashana of the trees” in the Talmud and colloquially as “The Birthday of the Trees.” With that in mind, it should come as no surprise you can find me in print twice the week of this holiday.

Where to find me this week:

The first place you can find something written by yours truly is in Binah Magazine. You’ll find my personal essay near the back, where I’ll contemplate the philosophic implications of gardening.

The second place you’ll find me is in Hamodia‘s Binyan Youth Magazine. One of the stories I’ve written that I’ve received the most positive feedback was one written nearly a year ago (just a week or so before Purim 5773) about a boy with Asperger’s mainstreamed in a “typical” yeshiva high school. I’ve brought the back the character a few times and you’ll meet him up again in this week’s story. I took the theme of trees and fruit in a more metaphorical sense here.

What does the theme “Fruit of the Tree” bring to your mind? Songs, books, poems, experiences? Please share below!

“You knew you wanted to do it, but you’d never had the courage…:” Writing in the second person

For some people, it’s bungee-jumping. For others, it’s swimming with dolphins, getting a tattoo, or eating fugu.

What am I talking about?

The thing you’ve always wanted to do, but were too chicken to try.

For me, it’s writing in the second person. When it’s done well, it’s so, so compelling. The reader is naturally drawn into the narrative, as they are a part of it. But when it’s bad, it’s like a poor imitation of a Choose Your Own Adventure book (I loved them as a kid, by the way). I remember reading a book that teaches writing which suggested that only the most gifted of writers should attempt writing in the second person.

Over the last few months, the second person narrative has appeared on my radar quite a bit. And for the first time, it’s in non-fiction.

I’m a huge fan of Erika Dreifus’s blogs, and that led me to some of her other writing. Among her corpus of work are several interlocked true short stories about her (yikes!) mugging in Central Park.

(You can read them, too:

What really interested me about the stories was Dreifus’s handling of her misadventure. While the events actually happened to her, she writes them as if they happened to the reader. Whether this was intentional or serendipitous, she discovered a way of writing about a traumatic event that happened to her with greater objectivity.

My new POV

A couple months back, I wrote a very self-revelatory story. It was the kind of thing that is so embarrassing to myself that I can’t be at all objective about it. When I wrote piece, I thought it was completely unpublishable, but shared it at my writing group nonetheless.

Surprise! Several members of the group had a very strong reaction to it, not because it was exceptionally well-written (it wasn’t), but because they felt the feelings I portrayed were very universal. So, they encouraged me to revise it.

Struggling to handle material that was a little too close for comfort, I tried Dreifus’s technique and rewrote my story entirely in the second person. I’d describe it as highly therapeutic. I was able to laugh at my foibles and not take the behavior that elicited my negative response so personally. I have no idea if the story will ever make it to publication. But the process definitely gave me a new perspective on my behavior.

The process also gave me a bit more confidence in writing the second-person. Now, I’m looking for the right opportunity to use it again.

Have you read notable works in the second person? Have you ever tried to write in the second person? Share your experiences as a reader or a writer below.

Soul-bearing writing–writing personal essays that are a little too personal for comfort

Tablet published a new piece of mine today, about the untidy family life of a person who is an Orthodox Jew with relatives who are devout Christians. The comments are busy, and no trolls have appeared so far (meaning that anyone who disagrees with me does so with politeness and reflection).

I’ve published the piece because the problem I described in the article is a surprisingly common one  (among the “baalei teshuvos” who come to religiosity as adults) that most people ignore.

It’s sorta mortifying. This is a problem that is very private for me, and–like many who share it–it is a source of pain that I usually sweep under the rug. I’ve had to explain the absence of half of my family to many people over the years, and it’s never comfortable. Now the entire world can read about it (and share! and comment!).

In general, I don’t write about my family unless it is 100% positive. I felt that this needed to be an exception, in order to support people who share this type of situation. I intentionally omitted the name of my father’s family, and I tried to protect their identities. I wanted not to expose them, but the problem. Nonetheless, one of the commenters pointed out that I was still airing my family’s laundry in public.

I’d love it if readers weighed in here (in a comment below) or in the comments section on Tablet.

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