Kveller writers talk G-d with their kids

The Jewish parenting website Kveller is running a series right now on parenting. They’ve got 5 perspectives so far, and I have to admit I have mixed feelings.

They seem to have picked some extreme situations–a mom who clearly has OCD, a kid who has chosen Communism over Judaism–but also some pretty normal ones, like the soon-to-be dad finally realizes the fate of his unborn child is out of his hands and chats with G-d about protecting him and (this had me laughing both out of amusement and empathy) the mother whose kids imitate G-d saying, “No!” to each and every request she makes at a trying stage of life.

What surprised me most is that so far most of the parents seem to not have thought about what they would say about G-d before talking about Him with the kids. Some of the stories are frankly depressing, like watching the blind leading the blind. Not surprisingly, their fumbling responses get some pretty sad results.

But I just love that a non-Orthodox (at least, not only Orthodox) Jewish website is hitting this issue, which largely goes undiscussed in polite American circles. And we’re getting a real glimpse into American Jewish households to see what’s going on in there.

It’s pretty harrowing.

Sure G-d says, “No,” an awful lot. But what about all the times it turned out good for you?

What about saying, “Thanks, G-d!” every time you experiences a moment of joy? “Thanks for the parking space!” and “Thanks for there being exactly enough cupcakes for us all!” make an impression on kids as much as all those heaven-sent No’s.

What about discussing with your co-parent about how you’ll represent G-d to your kids ahead of the “Big Talk?” Because it’s as much of a Talk as the more famous one, and requires at least as much forethought.

Something that surprised me also was that no one really mentioned sharing books about G-d with their kids. A lot of the what I’ve communicated with my own kids about G-d has come from books and magazines, like  Where are You Hashem?, The Invisible Book, and Hashem is Truly Everywhere.

Do any readers out there have literature they like to share with their kids to enhance their “G-d Talk?”

Reading local-to-L.A. authors

One of my favorite things to do is to promote the work of Jewish writers with West Coast connections. Here are a few I’ve read in the last couple months:

Hands-On How To’s for the Home & Heart by Tova Younger (Shemtov Press 2012)

TOVA YOUNGER final cover

Tova Younger’s recent release

Tova Younger is a former Angeleno who settled in Kiryat Sefer in 2004. Her new book, Hands-On How To’s for the Home & Heart, contains friendly and very practical advice of all types for the Jewish wife.

When I was first living on my own, someone gave me a book, Where’s Mom Now That I Need Her: Surviving Away from Home. That cookbook/home repair/car repair/first aid/ and just about everything else manual got me through a lot of tough situations. Younger’s book is almost a Jewish version of that secular classic—chock full of basic information that every Jewish homemaker can benefit from.

Divided up into four primary sections:

  • For the Heart
  • For the Home
  • Handy Tips
  • recipes

Hands-On How To’s for the Home & Heart offers advice about everything from maintaining proper kavana (focus) to proper laundering; from how to make conversation with the relatives to whom we owe kavod (honor), to recipes for basics like beet salad and cornflake quiche.

Younger’s book would make a terrific gift for seminary girls, the newly married, and even seasoned homemakers. You can find it on discount right now at Jewish e-Books.

Bells & Pomegranates by Rachel Pomerantz (Menucha Publishers 2012)

bells and pomegranates

Rachel Pomerantz’s latest

Well-known Orthodox author Rachel Pomerantz frequently travels to SoCal to visit her brother and mother, who live near San Andreas. Her latest serial novelization, Bells & Pomegranates, follows the shidduch process of various characters (introduced in previous books), all of whom have life circumstances that present hurdles in their quest for a mate.

There are step-siblings Yoel and Devora, who have been adopted, and the twins Rina and Gila, who converted as children and grew up in a single parent home. There’s foster child Ronny, whose mother is mentally ill, and Yossi, the child of baalei teshuva. Sarah’s got great yichus, but she’s an orphan. These characters and others start off the shidduch process with considerable challenges—but as the novel progresses, Pomerantz throws additional complications into their paths, lending drama and suspense to their intermingled stories.

Bells & Pomegranates is more than kosher entertainment for a rainy afternoon. In describing the family dramas of her characters, Pomerantz invites us to question our own preferences and prejudices. How do my assumptions affect my judgment? How involved should parents and grandparents be in the shidduch process? What are legitimate reasons to call off a prospective match? These questions and others lingered with me after I finished the book.

On This Night: the Steps of the Seder in Rhyme by Nancy Steiner (HaChai 2013)

on this night

While a seasoned freelance author, Nancy Steiner is new to picture book writing. Her first kids’ title, On This Night, will likely prove to be a classic. In cheerful—but unforced—rhyme, Steiner leads readers through the steps of the seder. Her language is perfectly accessible for young readers and will prepare them for the Pesach experience.

The darling illustrations by Wendy Edelson depict an adorable family celebrating their seder. Edelson portrays the family members from a variety of angles, adding to the visual interest. From the twinkly-eyed zeide to the drowsy preschooler on the final page, the pictures (and text) are sure to engage kids aged 2 to 6.

Also of note:

L.A. resident Sarah Bunin Benor’s new book, Becoming Frum (Rutgers University Press 2012), considers the ways newly religious Jews adapt to the language of the mainstream Orthodox world. While an academic book rather than a religious one, Bunin Benor bases her conclusions largely on research conducted here in L.A., and her book will be of great interest of those engaged in the baalei teshuva phenomenon. I participated in her initial online survey, which piqued my interest in her work. I hope to write an entire post devoted to Bunin Benor’s book (and her spin-off website) soon.

Home decorating with bibliophiles: what your books say about you

Yesterday’s L.A. Times had a wonderful article by book critic David Ulin about his book collecting habits. His home is packed floor to ceiling with shelves and shelves of books. Periodically, he arranges them in alphabetical order.

Ulin shares many reasons for his enormous book collection. Here’s his chief one:

They are part of my present, yes, but also part of my past, my history: three-dimensional memories.

Among their appeals is that they opened up a world view, which is what the most essential writing does. Yet equally important is their resonance as objects, carried with me, shelf to shelf, apartment to apartment, over decades, physical reminders of who I was and who I am and of my process of becoming, blurring the line between inside and out.

This led me to think about what the Klempner family book collection means about us.

  • World view – Klempner adults are cheapskates. We love borrowing from libraries more than buying books. We still have a lot of books, but not relative to the amount of reading that goes on around here. Most of the books we actually own are Jewish books, especially for adults–books of prayer, Torah, character-building, and so on. The secular adult books we own are mostly practical.
  • Life history – You can see what my husband learned in classes ten or fifteen years ago by checking which volumes of the Gemara we own. You can tell I studied anthropology in graduate school and that one of us reads French (speaking is another matter…). You can tell we’re both teachers, and that we’re the kind of parents that like to read a lot about how to parent. On the kids’ shelves, you can track all of my eldest child’s special interests since age 5.

What do your books say about you?

Lights to the Nations: Two Jewish thinkers release their books for the secular–even non-Jewish–audience

Wow.

That’s pretty much all I could say. I read an amazing blog post by Ann Koffsky this morning (thanks Ann for sending me the link!) where she interviews the unforgettable writer Gila Manolson. The interview is chock full of advice to writers, advice to parents, and other neat stuff. But the biggest revelation to me is that Manolson has created a website to promote her upcoming book–her first book for a non-Jewish audience.

Manolson is not alone. Continue reading

Which part is historical and which part is fiction? My Semi-official 39 Clues Rant

Book 10: Into The Gauntlet

It’s by the fantastic writer Margaret Peterson Haddix. What’s there not to like?

This post might get me in trouble with my kids, but so be it.

In case you don’t know The 39 Clues is a book series for middle grade readers (roughly kids 8-12). I think the initial target audience was older, but that’s who’s reading this series in my neck of the woods.

Kids love these books. They are exciting and are so engaging as to be addictive. Tweens clamor for more titles, which are delivered to bookstores at an astonishing rate. They are written by some top names in kids’ lit, like Rick Riordan, Margaret Peterson Haddix, and (one of my faves) Linda Sue Park. What’s there to dislike?

Here’s my beef.

The 39 Clues series freely borrows from historical fact, then elaborates on this to create a thrilling adventure for kids. Continue reading